Monday, April 25, 2011

Day of Reckoning

Tax season has a way of taking my best intentions and smashing them to bits. This is how potato chips become part of a balanced breakfast - they sneak in when I'm in full stress mode and I don't notice until I've gained five pounds. But, now tax season is over and I can no longer hold onto the excuse of climbing back on the weight watchers wagon after Easter. Suddenly it is after Easter and there is a Cadbury egg mocking me from its perch on my counter.

I swear that thing has eyes.

All in all, the diet thing has been going well. I didn't think I had it in me. Well, that's not true. I knew I had it in me. I had too much in me. That was the problem.

But, never one to be daunted by a lofty goal (Ha! Who am I kidding?) or the fact that I hate diet food about as much as I would hate slugging back a bucket of cold earthworms, David and I took the plunge. It went like this:

Bonnie (the night before we began our weight loss regime): For my last act of gluttony, I'm going to melt a plate of cheese and eat the whole thing. What are you going to do?

David: I was thinking about drinking that bottle of magic shell.

Two weeks in:

David: I'm going to weigh myself before I pee in the morning. That way I can save the water weight for a week when I haven't lost very much.

Three weeks in:

Bonnie: I feel like Scarlett O'Hara, except I'm standing on a hillside with a single carrot in my hand saying, "I'll never be full again!"

Four weeks in:

David: I had to use my pee weight this morning.

And so it goes. We're down a combined total of 40-something pounds. We still want to bury our faces in a dozen chocolate chip cookies. I think that urge is about as easy to suppress as it is to convince a wide-awake-at-3-a.m. toddler that he really is sleepy.

Oh, crud. Now I want a cookie and a nap.

Darn power of suggestion.


Cameron and Nonie said...

I'm right there with you babe. Hang in there.

MyDonkeySix said...

You go girl! Keep up the good work!

Cath said...

You are awesome! Sugar, Tax Season, Twins and me? We're still inseparable. I'm impressed. Truly.

foculbrown said...

i know. that pee weight is important.

Sara said...

Go you!

And for the record, while I don't like Cadbury eggs, I do LOVE malted robin's eggs. And peeps. Darn the fact that Easter has the best candy of any holiday!

Megan B ♥ said...

This post was so hilarious. I have a so many confessions. So many forbidden trips to the pantry....and the fridge. I have lost all control. Spiralling to The Biggest Loser Campus, i tell you!!!