Dear Family and Friends,
It’s time for the 2014 Overly Family rundown!
January: The family makes goals for the year, which consist mostly of noble pursuits like “Build houses for charity” and “Discover a cure for cancer.” Just kidding. They are mostly gross things the kids need to work on like “Stop biting your toenails” and “Stop picking your nose.” Leah and Matthew turn four years old and Mom and Dad wonder where the time went.
February: Michael is introduced to the mercurial ways of women when he lovingly gives his little sister a Darth Sidious Valentine and she cries for half an hour. Leah decorates the new leather couch with glitter nail polish that won’t come off. Bonnie takes her niece, Katie, to the Missionary Training Center and in the process manages to lose her keys, credit card, and the phone SHE HAD JUST BEEN TALKING ON all separately and within 20 minutes of each other. She quietly rescinds her nomination for Most Organized Person in the Family.
March: David and Bonnie try a Jillian Michaels workout video, which turns Bonnie into a complete cripple and makes David “a little sore.” David is down 20 pounds and Bonnie can run for 20 minutes without dying.
April: Bonnie contemplates going to trade school to learn how to repair washing machines after a Sears repairman spends a total of 2.3 minutes removing a single lego from the bowels of her front-loader and charges her $159. Everyone gets new bikes and Michael learns to ride without training wheels.
May: David’s Grandmother passes away at the age of 98. Her funeral is a celebration of a life well lived. Matthew barfs in the middle of the grocery store, which necessitates his mother carrying him out to the car in nothing but his underwear and his sister’s flouncy sweater. The family spends three days preparing for a two-day camping trip to Capitol Reef, where the kids earn their Junior Ranger badges from a redheaded intern with dreadlocks named “Cinimin.”
June: Michael begins baseball, Matthew and Leah begin swimming lessons, and Bonnie begins a three-month-long routine of spending half the day with her face in her pillow (thanks to baby number 4 who is due to arrive in February!) David and Bonnie celebrate their 13th wedding anniversary in style: David gets a speeding ticket racing from his busy job at [Big Company] to make it home in time for their “romantic” dinner with the kids, and Bonnie goes to bed with stomach problems.
July: The family has a blast at the McConkie Reunion in Oceanside, California playing with cousins, going to Legoland, and boogie boarding in the ocean. When Leah changes her mind about something, Matthew sagely informs the family that “girls can always change their minds.” The kids enjoy two rounds of fireworks on the 4th of July and Pioneer Day, and ask to go to the pool every day.
August: An ultrasound reveals that a little brother is on the way! Workers begin the project of completing the unfinished portion of the basement. Bonnie is asked to serve in the Relief Society Presidency and is attacked by a barrage of meetings, the kids start school, soccer, dance, and piano lessons, and Michael gets hooked on the Harry Potter series.
September: Leah sticks a bead so far down Matthew’s ear that he has to be sedated at Primary Children’s Hospital to remove it. While Bonnie’s parents watch the kids, David and Bonnie escape to NYC for a few days. They win the Wicked lottery (front row seats for $30!), stuff their faces, and enjoy all their old haunts in the city. Meanwhile, the grandparents deal with Michael and Matthew getting the barfs, the water heater leaking, and the car battery dying. David and Bonnie come home relaxed and refreshed and the grandparents leave with a raging case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
October: The kids count down the days till Halloween. The basement is completed, David and Bonnie take on the project of installing chair rail in the bedrooms and painting, and Michael insists on listening to nothing but Harry Potter soundtracks every moment he is home from second grade. Add in Leah’s round-the-clock requests for songs from Frozen and you’ll understand why Bonnie gets a little twitchy any time someone asks her if she wants to build a snowman.
November: David and Bonnie host Thanksgiving, cook the dickens out of the turkey, and stand in line for two hours at Target only to not get what they came for. They console themselves with pie.
December: Michael turns eight and is baptized and confirmed a member of The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He has a rare birthday party, gets his own set of scriptures, and, to his great delight, starts cub scouts.
We are so grateful for your friendship and love and wish you a very Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Love, The Overlys -- David, Bonnie, Michael, Matthew, & Leah