Anatomy of a Kiss

I admit it. I love weddings. I love fancy dresses and happy grooms and awkward kisses at the request of little old grandmas who want to see grandbabies nine months down the road. I also love formal ceremonies and military uniforms and fairy tales involving princes and castles and happily ever after.

Needless to say, I was excited for the "Wedding of the Century" between Prince William and Kate Middleton. Not that I have any particular interest in what the royals are doing or not doing (or whom they are doing, as it were), but seriously, a royal wedding service? What's not to love? (Wait, I think this is where I'm supposed to discuss the crazy hats...)

It seemed that the entire world was equally enthralled. The dress was breathtaking. The bride was gorgeous. The ceremony was lovely.

And then came the traditional post-wedding kiss:

"Too short for the balcony at Buckingham Palace."

"Worst kiss ever!"

"Ceremonial, familial and passionless - if you blinked you missed it."

Honestly, what would these people have preferred, that Prince William engage in a game of royal tonsil hockey with his new bride? If feeling love and passion for one's spouse means one has to make a habit of tangling tongues in very public and inappropriate situations, it's no wonder we have so many marital problems.

While every new couple seems to go through a stage where their hands or lips appear to share some sort molecular bond with those of their partner, a relationship that has lasted as long as that of the newly minted Duke and Duchess of Cambridge should have rightly matured to the point that adolescent displays of "passion" are completely unnecessary.

For the record, I thought the kiss (and its follow-up smooch a few minutes later) was very romantic and sweet. Besides, what points more accurately toward future marital bliss? A hungry, slobbering kiss worthy of closed doors and low lighting? Or a sweet, simple peck on the lips, followed by blushing and giggling and happily embarrassed grins?

My money is on sweet and simple.

I wish the royal couple a lifetime of love and happiness.