Mommy, What Does @#*$!&% Mean?

When I was little, the girl next door taught me a few choice words to enhance my vocabulary. I had no idea what they meant or how to piece them together in a sentence, but nevertheless, I decided to try out my new found knowledge on my mom. That didn't go over so well. I'm sure it must have been a rather shocking experience for her to have her four-year old come home armed with the vocabulary of a sailor. After she had gathered her wits about her, she quickly gave me an important lesson on words that I should not be saying.

So for me, it was a friend who dragged my innocent mouth through the mud. But maybe if I had lived in Britain, she could have saved herself the trouble.

Students in a 7th Year class were recently told to shout obscenities during a lesson on swearing. The teacher apparently wrote expletives like the F-word on the board and explained their meanings. Lovely. Just when you hope your child isn't learning these things from his peers, his teacher steps in and does the dirty work.

Officials at the school say it was part of sex and relationships program to "dispel the myths of swear words". Huh? Do they mean like whether bad words exist or not, or whether they are actually bad? Or, whether or not, if you say a swear word in the forest and no one is around to hear you, it's still a bad word?

Parents of the children are rightfully outraged at the lesson, but frankly, I'm a little surprised by that. I mean, would these same parents be outraged at their child's teacher demonstrating condom-use on a banana or teaching graphic lessons on sexuality?

Why schools feel it necessary to tackle subjects like these is beyond me. How much better would it be if they stuck to math and science and history lessons instead of teaching a room full of kids how to offend their grandmothers.

I don't even want to know what's next in the curriculum.