Once There Was A Snowman

Here is a little video of Michael singing his favorite song. Notice how he pops up at the end and asks to sing it again.

God Bless Disposable Diapers

I always knew disposable diapers were heaven-sent. This article is just proof of that. The funny thing is I read it right after I read an article about the many virtues of cloth diapers.

All I can say is given the option of folding up a poopy diaper and throwing it in the trash, or swirling it in the toilet and washing it myself, well, is there really a choice? Seriously?

I think disposable diapers are the reason I was born when I was. That and indoor plumbing. And modern anesthesia. And antibiotics. And eyeglasses. Not to mention I would have dropped dead on the border of Nauvoo. Okay, I never would have made it to Nauvoo. My ancestors would have had to leave me in Palmyra.

I'm such a wimp. But it's soooo comfortable being a wimp.

What Was I Saying About Names?

John McCain has chosen Sarah Palin to be his Vice Presidential running-mate. (If you just said, "who?", then join the crowd). I haven't looked up any of her qualifications, so I can't pontificate on whether or not she is a worthy choice. But I did find out that she is the mother of 5 children - Track, Trig, Bristol, Willow, and Piper. Hopefully she has more political sense than baby-naming sense.

Her youngest child, Trig, is just four months old! Can you imagine running around the country campaigning for the presidency with a four-month old on your hip? I have nothing against working mothers, but I certainly wouldn't want to be in her shoes. Or her kids' shoes, because then my name would be something like Bristol.

Words Of Wisdom

Everyone keeps saying that this diet thing will get easier. That's what my sisters are saying too... well... sort of.

S4: My problem is eating lots of vegetables doesn't satisfy my hunger. I could eat a whole bag of baby carrots and feel just as hungry as I did before.

S3: Well, yes, but eventually you just lose the will to live!

S2: All I can say is if I weigh the same next Monday as I did this Monday, I quit. I want a cookie.

S1: I ate three apples today, and they didn't help with the hunger one bit. I shouldn't have wasted those points on apples when I could have eaten a "Skinny Cow" instead.

S4 to S3: I hate you for making me do this.

S3: It gets better, I promise, but it's unpleasant until the end.

S1 on my answering machine: I'm just calling to say that I'm hungry.

You know, there is actually nothing more encouraging than knowing everyone else is miserable too.

Putting The Die In Diet

Have you ever noticed that the first three letters of the word "diet" are d-i-e? Coincidence? I think not.

I went grocery shopping yesterday, spending a fortune on unsatisfying low-fat and "lite" items that I normally sneer at. I was so hungry I ate half a box of 1 point snack cakes on the way home.

Of course I had just run the gauntlet - walking down the ice cream aisle and landing in the checkout line (which, unbeknownst to many, is part of the Third Circle of Hell) where there were candy bars on sale for $0.33! Why do they taunt me so?

And on the way home Michael got tired of his carseat and started gagging himself to express his displeasure. Let's just say that I lacked sympathy when he threw up all over my freshly-cleaned car.

It was a bad afternoon.

Let The Diet Begin

My sisters and I have made a goal to lose ten pounds (that's ten pounds each, not ten pounds collectively, although that would be easier) by September 29th. These are the rules of the diet, as stated by my brilliant sister, Suzanne:

1. Weigh yourself on Monday, August 25, in your undies. No fair wearing snow boots and a winter coat. This is your official starting weight.

2. You do not have to reveal this starting weight, although you can if you want to.

3. Every following Monday, through September 29 we will report to each other our weight loss

4. Hair cuts are an acceptable weight loss technique

5. Getting Shauna to stand on the scale for you is not an acceptable weight loss technique

6. The goal is to lose 10 pounds by September 29—this would be 2 pounds per week.

7. The winner is anyone who loses 10 pounds OR the person who loses the most weight

8. We should have a prize

9. The prize should probably not be cheesecake, but doesn’t that sound good?

10. It is also acceptable to completely stuff yourself silly on Sunday, August 24.

11. We can send encouraging messages to each other. Or we can mock each other.

12. Dianna must choose to join us or we will just mock her.

I must admit, I'm scared out of my wits to go on a diet. I'm already panicking about food. But the good thing is it did stop me from eating a cookie with my breakfast this morning. And besides, it means more emails from my sisters. What's not to love about that?

Dumb And Dumber

Bruce sent me this link in response to my welcoming message to poor Zuma Nesta. I must say, I haven't been able to do anything but shake my head. These children should be taken away by Child Protective Services. Honestly, if you can't give your child a respectable name, can you really be trusted to raise that child to be a functioning adult? (Not that these people are raising their children - isn't that what nannies are for?) A big hurrah for the judge who ordered the name change for the unfortunate "Talula Does The Hula". It's too bad he didn't also order a change in parental unit.

Also in the way of dumb and dumber news, how about Angel Matos from Cuba, who in a display of stupidity of Olympic proportions, kicked a referee in the face when he disagreed with his call.

Wow, some people are just too dumb to be believed.