Friday, February 8, 2013

Twilight: The Serious Version

I've been making fun of "Twilight" a lot lately.  And since David and I finished watching "Breaking Dawn, Part I" (Hollywood executives:  "Let's take one slow movie and turn into two even slower movies") you can expect that to continue.  (David:  "What just happened?"  Me:  "He just performed an anesthesia-free c-section on his wife, using only his teeth.  Why do you ask?")

But, let's be serious for a minute.  What is it that galls me so much about this global phenomenon?  Why do I hate it so much?

Well, I can tell you in one sentence:  It's not about love.

If it were about love Bella would end up with Jacob - the best friend she can talk to for hours, who makes her feel secure and safe, who doesn't put her in danger and wouldn't require her to give up her soul or abandon any of the people she loves.  Instead we have her walking down the aisle with Edward - danger in sparkly wrapping paper, whose jealous behavior and lust for her blood is portrayed as "romance".  (Oooh, he's following her around and breaking into her house to watch her sleep!  He's sooo romantic!)

Memo to teenage girls:  A man who nurses fantasies of killing you is not husband material.

The only connection that exists between Bella and Edward is physical attraction on Bella's side (caused by Edward's self-admitted vampiric ability to draw people in) and blood lust on Edward's.  That does not exactly spell "forever".  And it certainly doesn't spell "happiness".

Love is not made up of heat and obsession.  It doesn't fantasize about harming you or get jealous when a shirtless guy talks to you.  And it definitely doesn't stalk you or put you in danger for its own selfish ends.  If Edward truly loved Bella, he would have stayed away from her.

Why do I hate "Twilight" so much?  It has been the means of causing millions of teenage girls (and dissatisfied wives) to confuse obsession and intense attraction for eternal love.

The damage of which is incalculable.


MyDonkeySix said...

Amen! And, um, ew about the c-section thing. Really? Wow. So glad I haven't seen that. Maybe you could save doctor's bills and have David do that next time you have a baby. Eeeek!

Cynthia said...

Preach it! My thoughts, exactly.