Tuesday, August 18, 2009

A Bit Much

You know those people who can ignore a bag of Snickers bars in the cupboard or leftover pie in the fridge? I've never understood them. I've also never understood the people who decline dessert because they aren't "hungry". What does hunger have to do with anything? You eat a piece of chocolate cake because it's chocolate cake! If you're hungry, that's when you eat four pieces. But you don't pass it up because you are "full". Who doesn't have room for dessert?

So I guess I should have been pleased to read my doctor-recommended food quantity suggestions for a twin pregnancy: 3 large meals a day and 4 substantial snacks. The definition of a snack? A tuna fish sandwich and full glass of milk. Which, um, sounds like a meal to me. By the time I finished reading the guidelines, which suggested, among other things - 16 8 oz. glasses of water a day and a full quart of milk (whole milk is preferred, but if you don't like whole milk it suggests a milkshake every day), two servings of red meat and a veritable pharmacy of multivitamins and supplements, I had to turn to the front cover to make sure I hadn't picked up "A Blue Whale's Guide to a Healthy Pregnancy" by mistake. Seriously. Even I, a girl who has no issues with fattening food ruining my waistline (a plate full of bacon is worth a little belt expansion, I say), cannot fathom making a dent in such a mountain of food.

So I skipped to the next section and found out that I should be taking a two-hour nap in the morning, a two-hour rest period in the afternoon, and another nap after dinner. Are you kidding me? Who has time for that? And who really needs to sleep that much, for crying out loud? If I napped for six hours a day I'd be up all night. (Which might explain why I'd need to nap so much the next day... It's funny when doctors have to come up with a cure for the last thing they cured, like dosing your kid up on vitamin D so you can slather him with sunscreen every time he puts a toe out the door).

I mean, growing two babies is rather taxing at times, I admit. But for heaven's sake, gluttony and sloth don't sound like the best path to a healthy delivery. Sure, I'll have a nap if I need one, and I'll eat when I'm hungry. And I'll take my vitamins. But eating full-on meals seven times a day? That's just insane!

Except for the milkshake thing. I mean, well, it is doctor's orders.

12 comments:

Cameron and Nonie Gay said...

mmm, milkshake. Wish I was having twins so I had an excuse. One only requires an extra 300 calories, but I guess that's only a little under a candybar shake, right?

fiona said...

Ha, I know! I tried and tried to eat like that with N&B, and seriously failed. I mean, it's great to have the excuse when you CAN do it, but even when I wanted to...there just wasn't room. They were still big babies for twins, so they got plenty. And, holy cow, that's a lotta napping! Good luck squeezing in even a fraction of that with Michael to keep up with!

But definitely have those milkshakes... ;)

Evil HR Lady said...

I ate that way (except for the tuna fish thing, nasty!) when I was pregnant with offspring #2. 54 pounds I gained!

All right, I didn't eat that much. A quart of whole milk? Maybe it's written for those women who eat salads with fat free italian dressing and drink diet coke.

Rizley Family said...

That's insane! Hah.

lori said...

Hmmm. Check the title again... Are you sure it doesn't say "The Guide to Becoming a Happy Sumo"? This diet seems very much like the one I'm on right now.

Amy said...

HaHaHaHa!!! Love it! Bring on the milkshakes...and I'll take that Snicker's bar, too...if it happens to still be laying around. With my luck, Spencer, mom, or even my dad will have gotten to it first. psshh.

Deonne said...

Let's go get a few milkshakes and crepes next month together. :)

mathmom said...

Wow. My doctor only said occasional ice cream. I want my milk shakes! Of course, with gestational diabetes, they changed their tune on the whole eating thing. Good thing you are smart and know how to think for yourself.

Sara said...

That is INSANE!

Although I've been on the "milkshakes as desired" thing this entire pregnancy (gaining weight is something I apparently can only do while NOT pregnant), and it is nice. :)

How is one supposed to live if one is eating that much and sleeping that much? I'd go insane.

Although I am one of those people that can leave candy in the cupboard for months and refuse desert because I'm "not hungry." And I only eat bacon on BLTs. But bring on the cheese, corn chips and milkshakes and I'm golden. :)

Tara said...

The thing that book must not tell you is GOOD LUCK HAVING ROOM for all that food. Seriously, I had to eat every half hour or so with the twins but not because I was eating a ton--it was because I could only eat a few bites before feeling like Kira was going to kick it back up again!! The premium icecream/shake part is pretty awesome though, I definitely took advantage of that. Congratulations by the way!

overlyactive said...

That is one of my favorite thing about being pregnant is eating without guilt. Enjoy!!

Jenny said...

So, wait a minute, are you pregnant with twins? that's what I got from this post, but nobody has said a single congratulations. If you are, congratulations, if not, then I need to take a reading comprehension class again.

I enjoy reading your blog.