Wednesday, June 1, 2011

Missing Something

I'm in favor of gratitude, particularly when it comes to pregnancy. I think all women could benefit from a little more thankfulness when it comes to carrying a baby. It is a privilege and a blessing, after all.

That said, the proper response to someone saying, as a friend of mine recently did, that her baby is beating her up from the inside and that "It really HURTS!" is not "They grow up too fast so try to enjoy that you still have one that close to you. You will never get that moment back...just the memory!"

Um, pretty sure she doesn't want the moment back. She's in PAIN, remember?

I feel fairly confident in saying that the average woman will not look back fondly on having a baby play a painful game of kickball with her bladder. Gentle nudges to the ribcage or pokes to the belly button, yes. But slamming a head into a pelvis and causing horrible sciatic nerve pain all the way down to one's toes? Owwwww. No need to document that one in the scrapbook.

When I was about eight months pregnant with the twins, I was at a playgroup when someone asked me how I was feeling. I said I was doing well, but that I was a little worn out. One woman (who had, in the past, heard me express my annoyance over women constantly complaining about their pregnancies) said, "Uh, oh, Bonnie, no complaining!" I wanted to punch her.

There is a difference between saying, "I'm in a lot of pain" or "I'm sick of seeing my breakfast in the toilet" and saying "I hate being pregnant!" or "Why did I get pregnant in the first place?" The first outlook is acknowledging that there are rough parts of pregnancy which can be horribly unpleasant. The second is being ungrateful for an experience that many woman would trade all their worldly goods to have.

I loved being pregnant and tried never to complain about it. But discomfort is a guarantee during pregnancy, and women should feel like they can mention it without someone telling them to "enjoy" it. We don't tell anyone to enjoy their broken leg or their swollen appendix.

But, maybe we should.

I mean, they won't have the appendix for long, just the memory...


Tiffany said...

Well said! :)

Stephanie Black said...

Great post, Bonnie. Even when we're extremely grateful for something and wouldn't trade it for the world, that doesn't mean that sometimes it isn't hard.

MyDonkeySix said...

Very good separation and explanation of the two attitudes. Pregnancy is hard and that is ok to not enjoy the pain. Just as life is hard, but that doesn't mean we don't enjoy the ride and the results!

Amy said...

Loved it, girl! As usual, very well spoken.