In the immortal words of Lisa Turtle (I can't believe I can still quote Saved By the Bell when I'm almost into my thirties. Disturbing.): "What is art? Are we art? Is art art?"
Well, I think I have a definition for what art is not. And recent Academy Award nominee, James Franco, is providing the demonstration. He, along with two other "artists", is exhibiting his work at the Museum of Non-Visible Art.
I am not making this up.
Yes, these artists are "creating" pieces and selling them. For anywhere from $20 to $10,000, you, too, can own a piece of, um, blank wall. Because there is no art. Fork over $5,000 and all you will get is a lovely little plaque describing the piece of nothing you purchased.
It's supposed to be a kick start to the imagination. But I'm not sure who is so desperate for a little foray into their childhood that they would pay actual dollars (pretty sure the artists wouldn't be impressed by non-visible money) for a chance to relive their afternoon tea parties with Mr. and Mrs. Bear.
I certainly don't need James Franco to tell me what I should be imagining when I stare at the empty wall above my bed. I can do that well enough on my own. For example, right now I am imagining there is this painting of an emperor. He's parading down the street, proud as a peacock, in nothing but his gold accented underwear...
Anyone want to pay me $5 for that?
At any rate, it's probably better than handing over $10,000 for "Fresh Air", which some crazy rich person already has, believe it or not. And the great thing is, if the buyer tires of the art, he can "loan" it back to the museum or sell it to someone else. Because this is just the kind of thing that is worth passing on to future generations.
I can just imagine, on Christmas morning: "Oh, you got me... nothing?"
"Listen, you little ingrate, I paid $10,000 for that nothing. Now take a breath of fresh air and enjoy it!"
There's only one problem with imaginary fresh air; it's known to be deadly to common sense. Especially when money is involved.
Poor Common Sense. Blindsided by non-visible art.
He didn't even see it coming.