Tuesday, June 21, 2011

The Letter of the Day is P (Or is it S, for Stupid?)

I admit to caving in to the "Ick Factor" now and then. For example, I simply cannot eat day-old gravy that has had time to congeal in my fridge. Even if I boil the living daylights out of it during reheating it never returns to the same consistency, and I simply can't get over the fact that I had to plop it, whole and jiggly, out of its container before I poured it over my potatoes.

Also out is banana bread -- old, black bananas really geek me out. And if David accidentally uses my toothbrush I will buy a new one. I know it's irrational - after all, I do make a point of kissing the man on a regular basis, but ick! I can't stand the idea of my toothbrush being wet because it was in someone else's mouth!

That said, Portland, Oregon is taking their reaction to the Ick Factor a little too far: After a man was caught on a security camera peeing in one of the city's open air reservoirs, officials decided to drain eight million gallons of treated drinking water rather than risk getting angry letters from three grossed-out tap water drinkers who had fears of contracting some horrible disease.

People, the average human bladder holds somewhere from 350-500 ml of urine, which, in healthy persons, is sterile. Even if this man had some kind of superbladder or bizarre medical condition which caused his bladder capacity to expand to ten liters, when diluted in eight million gallons of water, that is nothing. Nothing! Immaterial, as David the Accountant would say.

Besides, this is an open air reservoir. That means there are ducks swimming in it on a regular basis. And making full use of the facilities. They drain the reservoirs twice a year for cleaning and find all manner of dead animals, dog poop, and other trash. For heaven's sake, a pint of pee in eight million gallons of water isn't going to hurt anyone. People probably get more germs from their own faucet than they would from some infinitesimal amount of urine in the water.

Stupid. Absolutely stupid.

And I know it's hard to believe, but now I really have to go the bathroom.

Serves me right.

3 comments:

Kristin said...

Oh geez. Yay for my hometown. I moved away for a reason. ;)

Cath said...

You're so funny. Can I start using that phrase? "Geek me out!"

Megan B ♥ said...

I think it's all so gross for a million reasons. Stupid tree huggers. Give me back my phosphates.