Yesterday I dutifully hopped on the treadmill for my morning workout. "I'm making progress!" I thought, cheerfully. "I'm not actively dying!" So I decided to take some advice from a runner friend and change up my routine a bit, trying for a brisk 15-minute walk followed by a solid ten-minute run.
Two minutes into the jog, plates of brownies started flashing before my eyes and I started panicking that I hadn't told my relatives where my will is located. Two minutes and thirty seconds in my lungs were on fire and I vowed never to step foot on a treadmill again. I mean, seriously, if THIS is what two months of regular workouts gets me, what's the dang point? Pass me a candy bar!
Then, just as I was stepping off the treadmill in a defeated slump, grumbling to myself and planning to eat pie for breakfast, I noticed I had accidentally hit the "incline" button when I was trying to set my pace. I had been running uphill the whole time! This meant two things: 1- My body is not as out-of-shape as I thought it was, and 2 - My brain needs some help.
Ah, well... it's like they say: you can't have everything.
But since I'm not sure what the point of having "everything" is anyway, I think I'm okay with that. Or at least I would be if we weren't having our family pictures taken at the end of this month. I'm ashamed to admit it -- generally I try not to be all body focused -- but I've stood in front of the mirror at least twice in the past week trying to figure out the best angle to hide my double chin.
The good news is, I found it! If I turn my head just so, I will totally be able to remove it with Photoshop! (Sooo much easier than trying to remove it with Treadmill). I mean, what is digital photography for if not to allow us to remove all the imperfections that make us who we are?
Ha! I'm kidding, I'm kidding!