Monday, July 16, 2012

Heigh Ho, Heigh Ho

David went off to work this morning a full hour earlier than usual, armed with a frown and a ziploc bag full of excedrin.  After a prolonged hug and kiss at the door he said, "I'll miss you," as if he were boarding an aircraft carrier bound for Afghanistan.  Then we kissed again, because, let's face it, you can never kiss too much.

In a burst of post-vacation blues combined with an uncomfortable awareness that David is back to busy season at work, at 9:00 this morning I ate an entire bar of authentic Swiss chocolate (direct from Switzerland!  Thanks, EHRL!) and followed it with a swig of milk straight from the jug.  Since I ate a bowl of cereal at 7:00, I figure the chocolate and milk counts as "brunch".  That combined with the fact that I was being environmentally responsible by drinking directly out of the jug means I am officially not as pathetic as you think I am.  Besides, none of my children saw me do it.

All right, all right.  I admit to being a little pathetic.  Not to mention that last night before saying our prayers, David and I were swapping less-than-flattering stories about someone we both find to be incredibly irritating.  Then we bowed our heads, folded our arms, and David paused long enough to make it seem awkward before he said, "Um, you pray."

"For our souls?" I asked.

Then we laughed hysterically.  This is how you know we're pathetic and we're going to hell.

Plus, I've been up for four hours now and I'm still sitting here in my bathrobe.  And I just discovered that I have a hole the size of a large planet on the backside of my underwear that has very obviously been gaining size for awhile now.  How I did not notice this before now, I'll never know.

As for my kids, Matthew and Leah are helping themselves to a snack from the box of cereal that is still sitting on the table and Michael is simultaneously watching Team Umizoomi and playing a game on my iphone.  Luckily it's summer and I still have a good 11 hours to redeem myself as a mother before the children go to bed. 

I better hurry if I want the chance to take a shower.


Kris said...

This is, by far, one of my favorite posts. Maybe because it hits so close to home and makes me laugh about it.

If only my husband was harvesting diamonds and gems instead of counting dollars that will never be ours. I geuss I'll console myself, like you, with my husbands kisses and a bowl of chocolate ice cream.

And there is a quiet comfort knowing that ours is not the only pilow talk that demands prayers for souls...

MyDonkeySix said...

Right after the family reunion makes you wonder if the annoying person was family. Hmmmm. Going back to reality is so hard and totally bogus. Vacation is where it is at! Thank goodness for chocolate!