Monday, June 25, 2012

For Love of Unicorns

Jennifer Nagy, writing for the Huffington Post, is on a mission.  Unhappy and divorced at the age of 29, she wants a law instated that will prevent couples from getting married before the age of 25.

Her reasoning?  She married at 24 and it didn't work out.  Therefore, every couple who climbs aboard the marriage boat before the age of 25 will find themselves wanting to jump ship before long.  It's simple math: since A+B = divorce, so does C+D or X+Y or Q+Z.  Obviously.

Grumpily, she acknowledges that some couples might marry young and make it last, but then adds, "Maybe there is such a thing as fairies and unicorns too."

My, what miserable people she must surround herself with.

Having been surrounded by "fairies and unicorns" my entire life, I could cite personal experience that proves the opposite of her theory.  In my family and circle of friends, the majority were married under the age of 25, and the vast majority of those are still together and still happy.

But the fact is that age is not the issue here.  (Does she really think turning 25 would have caused her to undergo the magical transformation from immature dope to unicorn?)  She reveals the real issues when she says of meeting her ex, "I was enjoying the freedom of drinking and partying legally for the first time...", "I was perfectly happy to let him take control of my life," and "I had no idea who I was or what I wanted in my life."

That isn't an issue of age, but of selfishness and immaturity, neither of which is likely to diminish when one spends her time devoted to partying in bars and reveling in freedom from responsibility.

I married at the age of 19.  I was still a teenager, and yet I knew exactly who I was and what I wanted out of life.  That doesn't mean all the details were filled in, nor do they have to be -- you might go into a marriage thinking you want 10 kids, but then, when reality trumps idealized dreaming, you realize you are happier with two.  Or you might go into it thinking you want to be a stay-at-home mom, but then realize you need the outlet of a full-time job.  Not everything needs to be laid out exactly so for the next 70 years. But, when a solid foundation is there, when you and your spouse are on the same page concerning the essentials (commitment to God and to each other) the rest is just details.

David and I have been very happily married for 11 years. There has not been a single day where we have not said, "I love you" and meant it.  There has not been a single day where I have regretted marrying him or where I didn't feel grateful for him.  And as for "finding yourself," what better way to do that then hand-in-hand with your biggest supporter and truest friend?

Unicorns and fairies are everywhere, Ms. Nagy.  You just have to know where to look.


Bonnie said...

Thanks, Megan, for sending me the article!

kws said...

Love this. Congrats on 11 years of being happily married!

Stephanie Black said...

OH BROTHER. Does it get any more ridiculous than this? I don't see how she can make this argument with a straight face. Because she didn't have her act together, no one should be allowed to marry before 25? Sheesh!

MyDonkeySix said...

Amen! What a crabby moron! Sheesh! There always has to be someone else to blame for our own misery. It can't possibly be her fault, you know.

Megan B ♥ said...

You're welcome :)

What a nut job. She seriously needs to examine the people she surrounds herself with...

Chris said...

Here is a different kind of unicorn, but one that was mature and went into the decision of marriage with enormous self-awareness and maturity:

Might be an interesting topic for a future blog post. I'd love to read your thoughts on it.