The Weird World of Shampoo

For lack of better reading material in the shower, my eyes are usually drawn to the back of whatever shampoo bottle is camping out on the eye-level shelf. I've learned a lot about hair care products in my back-of-the-bottle readings over the years. The shampoo in my shower at home, for example, is 100% vegan and gluten-free. Phew. I'm doing my part to stop global warming! (Or whatever environmentally correct thing it is we're supposed to be doing). Save the icebergs! Put phosphates back in dishwasher detergent!! No wait, wrong cause.

Mostly shampoo marketing just leaves me bewildered. Like the shampoo I recently bought while traveling. It's "self-targeting". That's good. It could be really awkward if it was "neighbor-targeting". "So, Bill, seen any improvement with your hair thickness since I've been using that new shampoo? It's supposed to be 'neighbor-targeting!'"

And speaking of hair thickness, apparently what my wispy locks need is a little pick-me-up from my sister-in-law's shampoo. Nine out of 10 people who use that product "perceive" a thickening effect. If that isn't a convincing testimonial, I don't know what is.

Body wash with jojoba. Conditioner with avocado oil. Cocoa butter. (Mmmm... cocoa butter). Does anyone buy shampoo specifically because it's made out of poppy-seed extract and raspberry juice? Or are we just hungry all the time so we go for whatever shampoo we feel we could survive on after a natural disaster?

Because, seriously, I could go for something involving cocoa butter and raspberry juice.

Yum.