Out of the Mouths of Babes

Matthew: Hi, everyone!
Leah: Hey, how come you get to go first?
Matthew: Because I am two minutes older, and therefore, wiser and infinitely cooler.
Leah: As if. You may be cool, but I can get anything I want just by batting my eyelashes.
Matthew: So? I can scream ten times as loud as you can.
Leah: Good point. In that case, go ahead.
Matthew: Ahem. As I was saying... Hi everyone! It's so nice to actually be able to touch the keyboard. I have been eyeing this thing for months!
Leah: I know, Mom never lets us get near it. She won't let me suck on scissors or batteries, either, even though Michael tries to sneak them to me sometimes.
Matthew: Yeah, Michael can be annoying, but he is convenient to have around when you want some contraband.
Leah: Where is he, anyway?
Matthew: He's playing the Wii. It's quiet time and Mom thinks we're napping, so let's not give ourselves away, okay?
Leah: Ooohhh, hold on. I just found a piece of leftover lunch on the floor.
Matthew: Want some milk to wash it down?
Leah: No, I'm fine.
Matthew: Good, because I was just showing you the sippy cup to let you know I had it. I wasn't really going to give it to you.
Leah: Figures. In that case, I do want some. (Steals the cup and whacks Matthew on the head for good measure).
Matthew: Owww, Leah!
Leah: Ssshh! Don't give us away, remember?
Matthew: So what should we say?
Leah: I don't know. Life is pretty good as long as I have my blankie or a tag to hold while I suck my thumb.
Matthew: Yeah, what is up with you and tags? I saw you holding Mom's bra by the tag the other day.
Leah: It's soft, okay?
Matthew: You realize you are setting yourself up for some serious blackmail pictures, don't you?
Leah: Oh, like mom would ever post that one. She told me she doesn't want anyone to know she has to shop for bras in the teen section.
Matthew: When did she say that?
Leah: It was girl talk. You weren't invited.
Matthew: Women.
Leah: Well, what do you like to do?
Matthew: I like Mom to hold me all day.
Leah: Besides that, I mean.
Matthew: The walker is pretty fun. And I like to crawl around and explore.
Leah: Yeah, the kitchen cupboards are the best. I've been hiding all the pan lids under the stove.
Matthew: Is that where they are? Mom was looking for those.
Leah: Yeah, it's fun when she tears apart the kitchen looking for something. I hid some of her curlers under the rug the other day.
Matthew: Hey, what is that shiny thing?
Leah: Ooohh, shiny thing?! Where?!
Matthew: (Yanks the hair clip out of Leah's hair). Later! (he crawls off).
Leah: Hey, give it back!
Matthew: (giggles)
Leah: I guess I'll have to finish this later. (sighs). Brothers.