Saturday, January 23, 2010

Thanks, But No Thanks

There are good ideas, there are bad ideas, and then there are ideas that shall forevermore be known as Holiday-Inn-bad.

You see, the hotel chain is offering a new service at one of its London hotels. If you are one of those people who hates getting into a cold bed, you can request a "human bed warmer" to make it nice and toasty for you. This hotel staff member will don a fuzzy bodysuit and make himself at home in your bed until it reaches a comfortable temperature. Then he'll hop out so you can climb in the bed before the warming effect wears off. It's sort of like turndown service - just swap out the chocolate on your pillow for a serious case of the heebie jeebies.

But apparently the potential for willies is lost on Holiday Inn spokeswoman Jane Bednall, who described the service as being "like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed."

Okay, then I have a better idea: How about offering hotel guests a giant hot water bottle to put in their beds? Or an electric blanket? Or a heating pad? Or warmed stones? Or, heck, offer them a bowl of baked potatoes to put in their pockets.

Because I'm certain I am not the only person who is already grossed out by the idea of sleeping in a bed that has been used by hundreds of strangers. And I'm very certain I'm not the only one who wouldn't want to add a fresh body to that list.

Besides, what are you supposed to do while someone is "warming" your bed for you? Stand there in your nightie and tap your foot impatiently? Excuse yourself to the bathroom? Have an uncomfortable discussion about politics?

This idea isn't just bad, it's creepy. And it's making me all twitchy just thinking about it, so I'm going to go shake off my heebie jeebies by watching a movie.

And no, I don't want you to warm up my couch cushion for me.


Stephanie Black said...

Oh I am seriously creeped out. That is so completely bizarre.

Adam and Ashley Endsley said...

Hilarious. I am loving the picture you have put in my mind. Yuck.

MyDonkeySix said...

Have we really gotten so spoiled and lazy that we can't heat up our own beds? Oh my!

singingrae said...

GROSS! Ew, ew, ewwwwww!

The Davis Clan said...

Bonnie this is wrong on so many levels. I don't even want to start thinking about it.

Dr. Mom said...

Your posts always make me lol. BTW - thanks for teaching grandma about lol. :) Don't take too much of a break from posting come Friday.

Megan B said...

OH, BOnnie. Thank you so much for this. I laughed hysterically all the way through it until a tear leaked out of my right eye about the couch cushion.

Sara said...

One word.


Okay, maybe two. :)