Why does it have to be butter that makes everything taste better? Why can't it be something healthy like wheat germ?
Of the 21,449 cases of Swine Flu that have been reported in America, only 87 have resulted in deaths. That's a fatality rate of less than one percent. Not to marginalize lives lost, but why are we panicking over this disease? According to cnn.com, the regular flu results in 36,000 deaths every year in the US. 13,000 people have died from January to April of this year alone. So I'm still not sure why everyone is so freaked out about Swine Flu (and at the same time probably not getting immunized against the regular flu).
If you smacked someone in the face with a frying pan, how long would they stay unconscious? It seems in the movies that the knocked-out time period is only as long as the plot requires (cue murderous loon jumping on our hero from behind...) but if someone in real life had such a bonding experience with a calphalon pan, would they be out for minutes or hours?
Half of the train-wreck union that is Jon & Kate Plus 8 appeared on magazine covers this week swatting one of her disobedient children on the behind. I'm so glad I don't have to find my picture splashed across the front page every time Michael's bum needs a little slap. Then again, I'm not stupid enough to make my family the subject of a reality show, so I guess you could say the Gosselins have brought this sort of thing on themselves.
I realize I can divide my life into two time periods - the days when I thought The Olive Garden made good Italian food, and the era of enlightenment when I discovered the Italian world beyond Provo and realized that Olive Garden's chef probably ran to Costco and purchased a bag of the green salad mix and a few dozen brown-n-serve breadsticks and tried to pass them off as authentic made-from-scratch Italian fare.
I can't think of a single thing about smoking that is appealing, but having a cold this weekend has made me wonder how any smoker makes it through the hacking and coughing phase of a cold without resolving to quit.
Does anyone who has ever stood in line at the DMV really think government-run healthcare is a good idea?
The sound of splashing in the bathroom always means trouble, especially when no faucets have been running.
4 comments:
I love the Olive Garden paragraph. I also agree with the DMV/government-run healthcare comment.
Oh I love the splashing comment, just wait till you have a little one who loves to play in the toilet and an older one who always forgets to flush and shut the door. Can you say Gallon tub of hand sanitizer?
Yeah, how come it's always the fat that makes things taste good? And how come we never crave, say, a carrot?
I've been away from New York so long that Olive Garden actually tastes good to me now. I haven't thrown up over the thought of dining there in years. My, how things have changed.... so pathetic. Good luck quitting your ciggys!
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