Monday, March 4, 2013

The One Where I Agree With a Celebrity (and Explain the Divorce Rate)

Stop the presses -- I agree with a celebrity!

Reality star and E News reporter, Guiliana Rancic, is ruffling feathers.  Why?  Because she had the sense to make the following statement:

"[My husband and I] put our marriage first and our child second, because the best thing we can do for [our son] is have a strong marriage."

Cue exploding heads.

No, really.  This is the sort of article you should never read the comments on, because it will make you fear for the state of humanity.  Even if you discount the dozens of idiots who insist that making such a statement is akin to roasting one's child on a spit -- "So she's saying if there were a fire, she'd save her husband over her baby?!!!" -- there is enough whirring of propellers from over-involved, child-obsessed parents to make you understand exactly why the divorce rate in America hovers around 50%.

Consider this comment from "Athena":

"Bottom line is that you are [a] parent for life and husbands come and go, life happens... Children always come first, and there's always time for the parents, it's called priorities and planning."

Did she seriously just say "you are a parent for life and husbands come and go..."?

Lady, children come and go -- if you've done your job correctly.  Eventually they will grow up, move out, and have families of their own.  But husbands are for life (or as I believe, for eternity).  Or at least they should be.

Besides, Mrs. Rancic is not suggesting you should waltz off to the Carribbean for a week to romance your husband and leave your two-year-old to fend for himself, nor is she saying you should let your newborn sit in a soiled diaper for hours on end so you can play footsie with your husband under the table.  (And she is definitely not saying she'd let her baby to burn to death in order to save her husband.  Don't you people find it exhausting putting so many words in someone's mouth?)

Mrs. Rancic is saying that having a good, strong marriage benefits children.  Having a mother and father who love each other benefits children.  And that kind of marriage cannot happen if parents exist solely as planets revolving around their offspring's sun.  A husband and wife are the foundation of a family; if that crumbles, so do the kids.  Therefore, the relationship between a husband and wife is the most important relationship in the family and must be put first.

Doing so does not mean ignoring the needs of your children.  It just means you won't let the needs of your children cause you to forget the needs of your spouse.

A person who puts her spouse first will still hug and kiss her children, she just won't forget to hug and kiss her spouse.

She'll cheer for her kids, but she won't forget to cheer for her spouse.

She'll help her kids with homework, but she won't forget to make time for her spouse.

She'll praise her kids, but she won't forget to praise her spouse.

She'll remember that her spouse is The Best Thing to happen to her, and she'll treat him that way.

And her kids?  They'll feel secure and loved and cared for.  And they'll grow up knowing how to have happy, healthy marriages of their own.

That sounds like good parenting strategy to me.


Stephanie Black said...

YES. YES. And also YES.

Cameron and Nonie said...


MyDonkeySix said...

Exactly. Though, I am all for ditching the kids for two weeks for a cruise too! Hmmmmm.