Thursday, August 30, 2012

Notes from the Universe

I recently taught Michael how to tie his shoes.  I'm sure there might be mothers out there who enjoy this sort of thing.  After all, it sounds nice --  sit your kid on your lap, sing a few songs about bunnies and holes and going around trees, and voila!  The shoes are tied!

And for Michael and me, the process was exactly like that... except there was no singing and we almost killed each other.  (I suddenly understood why, 20 years ago in the middle of a piano lesson, my mom actually ripped one of my piano books in half).

But, I consider this experience the voice of the universe telling me that I should never home school.  Which has made me wonder, what else is the universe trying to tell me?

Apparently that running is "fun," for starters.  Not only is our upcoming ward (church congregation, similar to a parish) activity a 5K, they keep talking about it like it's supposed to be enjoyable for the whole family.  Hmmm... You know what would be more enjoyable?  Sleeping in and going out to Kneader's for breakfast.

But then yesterday I got an email from Michael's school about a fundraiser involving, you guessed it, a "fun" run!  I think the universe is hoping that if she uses the word "fun" in connection with "running" enough times, I might be duped into re-boarding the exercise wagon.  Unfortunately for the universe, not only did I fall off the wagon, I hacked it into little splinters and enjoyed a tasty smore by the light of the bonfire it kindled.  I'm not even sorry.

The problem is that I am blessed not to have body issues.  I don't look at myself and think I look fat, I look at myself and think I look like me.  Which is not to say I wouldn't like the look of me in size 8 pants, but it's so much trouble to get there...

And I have to laugh at the memory of my newly-engaged self being horrified when my future mother-in-law took a guess at my dress size and came up with "12."  (Tip to all mothers-in-law:  Guess smaller!)  Considering I could have zipped up a size 6 at the time, I was devastated that anyone would think I looked like a 12.  Now I'd be like, "Thank you very much for noticing!  I skipped breakfast this morning!"

Ah, it's funny how things change.  Well, some things, that is.

Running is never going to be "fun."


Stephanie Black said...

Hahahaha . . . roasting a s'more. Bonnie, you crack me up.

I still need to teach my seven-year-old how to tie her shoes.

Suzanne Lucas said...

I read your smore paragraph to Jason and he said, "So, she's like Dave Barry?"


Ali said...

Someday, I'm going to print off your whole blog and have it bound. I have a feeling I'll laugh just as hard in twenty years as I do now. You are gifted!