Italian salad dressing is magic. It makes so many foods taste better.
Life can never be fair because when people say "fair" they mean "skewed in my favor".
Pace Picante Sauce does not count as salsa and should not be allowed to occupy grocery store space next to the tortilla chips.
People always say that marriage is hard, but really, it's life that is hard. Marriage makes life a lot easier.
One of the most annoying spelling mistakes is changing "breathe" to "breath". As in, "I can't breath!" Really, you can't "breath"? That must be awkward.
I hate parking lots with angled spaces that mean you can only drive in from one direction.
Does anyone else find it ironic that Hollywood celebrities -- people who are paid hundreds of thousands of dollars for mere minutes of work -- are hopping on the Occupy Wall Street bandwagon?
The saying "The coolest thing since sliced bread" should be officially retired and replaced by "The coolest thing since the iPhone app which allows you to deposit checks from home."
How can you tell when moldy cheeses go bad? Isn't bleu cheese by definition "bad"?