Notice of Violation

Mr. Michael Overly
2nd Bedroom on the Left
House on the Corner

Dear Sir,

It has come to our attention that, in the course of your current illness, there have been several egregious violations of the Nose Wiping Act of 2006. Article 1, Section 1 of this law states that all fluids contained in a person's nasal cavity shall be disposed of properly, following sanitation practices as prescribed in Section 2 of this law; these practices include, but are not limited to, use of proper sanitation facilities and products contained in one's household. For a list of appropriate products to use when blowing one's nose, please review Addendum 2.1, a copy of which has been included with this letter for your convenience.

Below you will find a list of your most recent violations:

Your sister's hair
Your mother's bedspread
Your mother's arm
A dishtowel
Your blanket
The couch
The carpet in the living room

While the current law does not expressly prohibit blowing one's nose and eating it, it is generally expected that individuals will avoid practices considered socially unacceptable or disgusting.

As this is your first Official Notice of Violation, action will not be taken against you at this time; however, you are expected to appear before your Household Magistrate for a refresher course in proper nose wiping procedures.

Your cooperation is appreciated.

Sincerely,

Hugh S. Tissue
Department of Sanitation