Saturday, October 16, 2010

Random Thoughts

One of the most meaningless words in the English language has got to be "luxury". Everything from my clearance-bin sheets to my poor-quality carpet was sold under the "luxury" banner. Come on, people, luxury is a penthouse apartment in NYC with enough enough original artwork to make the Met blush, not a crappy, K-Mart-brand hand towel that falls apart after three washings.

Children should come with shut-down buttons that don't allow their systems to reboot until 9 a.m.

Nothing makes me quite as twitchy as a Christmas stocking that has been hung the wrong way. The nail should be placed in the upper right corner so the toe of the stocking points left. The other way is backwards. Backwards, I tell you, backwards!

If I'm ever First Lady, I'm going to have my inaugural ball gown taken in three or four sizes before it's donated to the Smithsonian so that everyone who comes through will comment on how thin and fit I must have been.

Why do babies refuse to eat pears or applesauce and then take great delight in chewing on a petrified grape that has been residing with the dust bunnies under the couch?

Our house is under contract. I refuse to mop the kitchen floor again until after the movers come.

I love the word "ubiquitous". I feel like throwing it into all of my conversations just because I like the sound of it.

A sandwich always tastes better when it has a nice, salty potato chip in the middle.

Today I went to the craft store in search of Halloween-related items and found myself being serenaded by Christmas music. There is something so jarring about sifting through the bin of fake jack-o-lanterns while listening to Frank Sinatra sing "Jingle Bells".

Sometimes I think taking a small goat to the store would be easier than handling my almost-four-year-old.


mathmom said...

You know, I think I have been on Facebook too much lately because as I was going down this list, I tried to hit the "Like" button on a few of them! I especially like the idea of having a shut-down button for my kids. And, for some reason the thought of you going shopping with a goat that looks suspiciously like Michael makes me laugh out loud.

foculbrown said...

Hmmm...I have to disagree with the Christmas stockings. All of ours have the toe pointing to the right. It's the way my great-grandmother made the first set.

Nice, subtle way of announcing your move.

overlyactive said...

That is great that your house is under contract! What a relief for you. It was fun to see David today! Take care and we are counting down till we see you and the kids. I agree the stockings have to be hung right, isn't that the way they are in the "Night before Christmas"?

Cath said...

Thanks for making me laugh this morning. We're looking for a place for you here, keeping an eye out... any luck yet?

Stephanie Black said...

Great random list! The shutdown button idea is brilliant.

And babies think everything tastes better if they picked it up off the floor themselves. Yum!

The Davis Clan said...

Bonnie, so glad to hear that the house in under contract. That must feel good. No more cleaning the bathroom 3 times a day. Personally I don't think that Christmas music should be played until Thanksgiving dinner is over. So when is the big day for closing?

Sara said...

Our house is under contract. I refuse to mop the kitchen floor again until after the movers come.

I love how you always throw a piece of news in your lists!


Jill said...

You are hilarious! Your random thoughts are absolutely ubiquitous!