Advice for a Supermodel

Dear Gisele,

When giving advice to new mothers (or mothers-to-be) it is best to be aware of a few basic facts:

No one wants to hear about postpartum weight loss from someone who pranced her bikini-clad, stretchmark-resistant, cellulite-free derriere down the runway just a few weeks after giving birth.

If you insist that childbirth wasn't painful you are either a liar or a mutant. Either way, it is best to keep this information to yourself, as the only purpose that is served by sharing this little tidbit is to make normal women everywhere want to hurt you.

We all know that "breast is best", but there are a whole lot of valid reasons that a woman might choose to (or have to) formula feed. The way to encourage more women to breastfeed is not to say that there should be a law forcing new moms to do so. Or to criticize mothers who feed their babies "chemical food".

Sincerely,

Irritated Mom

P.S. If your baby slept through the night at 6 weeks it has nothing to do with your superior parenting skills. You are LUCKY. End of story.