Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Safety in Numbers

Oh, Irony, we've had our differences. But I'm almost willing to forgive you for letting my floss-twice-a-year husband escape from the dentist with no cavities while I (a woman who flosses EVERY DAY) have enough dental work in my future to solely support my dentist's retirement.

Well, maybe not completely forgive you. Nine years of ironic outcomes at the dentist's office... I'm still pretty bitter. But I will grant you a chuckle and a hearty snort for your effort to amuse me: A man who runs a company devoted to protecting consumers from identity theft has had his own identity stolen 13 times.

Now, maybe this doesn't truly classify as being ironic because it is exactly what I would expect to happen (what says "challenge" to identity thieves more than bringing down the CEO of LifeLock?) but I'm sure Mr. Davis was surprised. I mean, anyone who publishes his real social security number in company advertisements can't be the brightest bulb in the office. No matter how good you think your product is, there are just some things that aren't wise to reveal to the general public. I'm not even a criminal and I feel strangely attracted to coming up with a way to steal this man's identity. Just because.

So I can guarantee that somewhere there is basement full of bored nerds interrupting their online gaming to figure out what to do with Mr. Davis's identity. Right after they finish hacking into MySpace and leaving fake messages on celebrity pages, that is.

Of course, I suppose I should now be worried that some weirdo who follows my blog will see a challenge in this post and try to steal my identity. It would be pretty hard to impersonate me, though. I'm one of a kind.

After all, how many people do you know who can gather their flabby tummy into a scrunchie?


mathmom said...

OK, the tummy in a scrunchie thing, I can completely relate to this. I've never thought to do it though. Does it help? ;)

Cath said...

I love this Bonnie! I have to say, though, I can definitely do the tummy scrunchie thing - when you squeeze all that extra skin into a nice round circle around an umbilical donut hole? Yeah. I could impersonate your tummy. But the rest of you... hard. You
ARE one of a kind - in an exceptionally singular way! Glad to see you writing!

Megan B ♥ said...

A scrunchie, huh?

That is so interesting about the LifeLock guy. I have always been fascinated by the ads and interested in their program. Uh, thanks for sparing me.