Dear Family and Friends,
It’s time for the 2014 Overly Family rundown!
January:
The family makes goals for the year, which consist mostly of noble
pursuits like “Build houses for charity” and “Discover a cure for cancer.” Just kidding.
They are mostly gross things the kids need to work on like “Stop biting
your toenails” and “Stop picking your nose.”
Leah and Matthew turn four years old and Mom and Dad wonder where the
time went.
February:
Michael is introduced to the mercurial ways of women when he lovingly
gives his little sister a Darth Sidious Valentine and she cries for half an hour. Leah decorates the new leather couch with
glitter nail polish that won’t come off. Bonnie takes her niece, Katie, to the
Missionary Training Center and in the process manages to lose her keys, credit
card, and the phone SHE HAD JUST BEEN TALKING ON all separately and within 20
minutes of each other. She quietly
rescinds her nomination for Most Organized Person in the Family.
March: David and Bonnie try a Jillian Michaels
workout video, which turns Bonnie into a complete cripple and makes David “a
little sore.” David is down 20 pounds
and Bonnie can run for 20 minutes without dying.
April: Bonnie contemplates going to trade school to learn
how to repair washing machines after a Sears repairman spends a total of 2.3
minutes removing a single lego from the bowels of her front-loader and charges
her $159. Everyone gets new bikes and
Michael learns to ride without training wheels.
May:
David’s Grandmother passes away at the age of 98. Her funeral is a celebration of a life well
lived. Matthew barfs in the middle of
the grocery store, which necessitates his mother carrying him out to the car in
nothing but his underwear and his sister’s flouncy sweater. The family spends three days preparing for a two-day
camping trip to Capitol Reef, where the kids earn their Junior Ranger badges
from a redheaded intern with dreadlocks named “Cinimin.”
June:
Michael begins baseball, Matthew and Leah begin swimming lessons, and
Bonnie begins a three-month-long routine of spending half the day with her face
in her pillow (thanks to baby number 4 who is due to arrive in February!) David and Bonnie celebrate their 13th
wedding anniversary in style: David gets
a speeding ticket racing from his busy job at [Big Company] to make it home in
time for their “romantic” dinner with the kids, and Bonnie goes to bed with
stomach problems.
July: The family has a blast at the McConkie
Reunion in Oceanside, California playing with cousins, going to Legoland, and
boogie boarding in the ocean. When Leah
changes her mind about something, Matthew sagely informs the family that “girls
can always change their minds.” The kids
enjoy two rounds of fireworks on the 4th of July and Pioneer Day,
and ask to go to the pool every day.
August: An ultrasound reveals that a little brother
is on the way! Workers begin the project
of completing the unfinished portion of the basement. Bonnie is asked to serve in the Relief
Society Presidency and is attacked by a barrage of meetings, the kids start
school, soccer, dance, and piano lessons, and Michael gets hooked on the Harry Potter series.
September:
Leah sticks a bead so far down Matthew’s ear that he has to be sedated
at Primary Children’s Hospital to remove it.
While Bonnie’s parents watch the kids, David and Bonnie escape to NYC
for a few days. They win the Wicked lottery (front row seats for $30!),
stuff their faces, and enjoy all their old haunts in the city. Meanwhile, the grandparents deal with Michael
and Matthew getting the barfs, the water heater leaking, and the car battery dying. David and Bonnie come home relaxed and refreshed
and the grandparents leave with a raging case of Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.
October:
The kids count down the days till Halloween. The basement is completed, David and Bonnie
take on the project of installing chair rail in the bedrooms and painting, and
Michael insists on listening to nothing but Harry
Potter soundtracks every moment he is home from second grade. Add in Leah’s round-the-clock requests for songs
from Frozen and you’ll understand why
Bonnie gets a little twitchy any time someone asks her if she wants to build a
snowman.
November: David and Bonnie host
Thanksgiving, cook the dickens out of the turkey, and stand in line for two
hours at Target only to not get what they came for. They console themselves with pie.
December:
Michael turns eight and is baptized and confirmed a member of The Church
of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints. He
has a rare birthday party, gets his own set of scriptures, and, to his great
delight, starts cub scouts.
We are so grateful for your friendship and love and wish you a very
Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!
Love, The Overlys -- David, Bonnie, Michael, Matthew, & Leah
