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The Un-Photoshopped Truth

Did you see in the news that Nadya Suleman (aka Octomom) recently posed on the cover of a magazine sporting nothing but a teeny red bikini? She says she returned to her girlish figure through exercise and diet; no lipo or tummy tuck or surplus skin removal. (To see a picture of her toned bod, click here).

Well, as someone whose stomach looks like punched-down bread dough at the moment, I would just like to say one thing to Ms. Suleman: Liar, liar, pants on fire!

If having twins has taught me anything, it's this: Octomom had skin hanging down to her toes. I don't care how "elastic" you are or how well you "bounce back". It is impossible for your stomach to expand to eight-baby capacity without a lot of irreversible damage to your beach-ready physique. And forget individual stretch marks. Nadya was probably one giant stretch mark by the end.

Her cover shot is one big combo of plastic surgery and photoshop. To say otherwise is dishonest and, frankly, irritating to every woman who has given birth.

And it's just another reason why we'd like Ms. Suleman to go away.

Disease Central

After last week's stomach flu left me hospitalized we were hoping things would settle down in the illness department. Instead, the day I was released from the hospital, Michael was up in the night with a fever of 104. Not wanting to be left out, David finally admitted to himself that he needed to see a doctor after suffering through a week of terrible headaches and sinus pressure, and was diagnosed with a sinus infection. And then, just for kicks, I decided to get an earache and have thrown a little cough in there for good measure.

But the good news is that both babies are angels and, so far, (fingers crossed!) they have avoided getting sick. Hopefully we'll be able to say the same for Grandma, who arrived Sunday night and has since been sneezed on more times than she can count. We're still letting Michael hold the babies since the minute we turn our backs he kisses them on the lips or coughs in their faces anyway. No need for quarantine when the entire house is swimming in germs, I say. We'll just hope the babies are hanging on to the little immunity boost from me and try to sanitize hands as often as possible. (Because the hand sanitizing does a lot of good when you have a three-year-old who likes to wipe his nose everywhere, including baby blankets and burp cloths. Sigh).

Here is proud big brother holding his little sister ("Come here, sweet girl," he said before holding her):


And two sleepy babies:


My, that sleeping picture is simply inspirational. I think I'll go take a nap.

Welcome, Babies!

We are thrilled to announce the arrival of Matthew Hyatt and Leah Kathleen! Matthew weighed in at 7 lbs. 5 oz., and Leah at 6 lbs. 3 oz.

Leah is on top and Matthew is on the bottom:


Matthew on the left, Leah on the right:


Leah's newborn glamour shot:


We are all doing well, even after a little drama that required me to be re-admitted to the hospital (while there is never a good time to get the stomach flu, mere days after having a c-section is definitely one of the worst). It was very traumatic to be separated from my babies, but David did a wonderful job holding everything together at home with the help of our wonderful friends and ward. Thank you to everyone who came to our rescue!

I will post more pictures soon.

Thanks, But No Thanks

There are good ideas, there are bad ideas, and then there are ideas that shall forevermore be known as Holiday-Inn-bad.

You see, the hotel chain is offering a new service at one of its London hotels. If you are one of those people who hates getting into a cold bed, you can request a "human bed warmer" to make it nice and toasty for you. This hotel staff member will don a fuzzy bodysuit and make himself at home in your bed until it reaches a comfortable temperature. Then he'll hop out so you can climb in the bed before the warming effect wears off. It's sort of like turndown service - just swap out the chocolate on your pillow for a serious case of the heebie jeebies.

But apparently the potential for willies is lost on Holiday Inn spokeswoman Jane Bednall, who described the service as being "like having a giant hot water bottle in your bed."

Okay, then I have a better idea: How about offering hotel guests a giant hot water bottle to put in their beds? Or an electric blanket? Or a heating pad? Or warmed stones? Or, heck, offer them a bowl of baked potatoes to put in their pockets.

Because I'm certain I am not the only person who is already grossed out by the idea of sleeping in a bed that has been used by hundreds of strangers. And I'm very certain I'm not the only one who wouldn't want to add a fresh body to that list.

Besides, what are you supposed to do while someone is "warming" your bed for you? Stand there in your nightie and tap your foot impatiently? Excuse yourself to the bathroom? Have an uncomfortable discussion about politics?

This idea isn't just bad, it's creepy. And it's making me all twitchy just thinking about it, so I'm going to go shake off my heebie jeebies by watching a movie.

And no, I don't want you to warm up my couch cushion for me.

The Missing Question

Man, I can't believe I forgot to include the infamous "Are you done now?" question on my last post! So, since I am a good sport, I will answer:

If ten years pass by and we have not had another child, then yes, we were done.

If, in those ten years we have another kid, then no, we weren't done.

Hope this helps!