Lucky Gloves

The gloves Michael is sporting are rather miraculous. I know, you are thinking that a pair of toddler-sized hand warmers couldn't possibly be any such thing. But you would be wrong, and here's why: This pair of gloves lasted the entire winter season without getting lost or separated. That, my friends, is a feat as rare and unexpected as Britney Spears wearing her underwear.

I bought them in November and here we are in April, packing them away, and they are still together! Considering how many times they were purposely removed or dropped on the sidewalk or in a subway car, that is truly amazing.

So take note. This is one for the record books.

What Makes a Hypocrite?

Mel Gibson is catching a lot of flack for stepping out with another woman just two weeks after his wife of twenty-eight years filed for divorce. But the most interesting thing about this is not the level of tackiness (Come on, Mel, really?), it's the astounding number of bored people who comment on these happenings, calling Gibson (who is a devout Catholic) a hypocrite and reveling in the chance to bash religion in general, saying that this just goes to show that religious people are all hypocrites who should stop telling the rest of us what to do.

Now, while I agree this is not wise behavior on Gibson's part (and certainly won't win back any fans who were turned off by his disgusting anti-Semitic rant a few years ago), I have to question whether his actions are truly hypocritical. As the point of the indignant comments I read seems to be "He's a hypocrite and he's religious, so therefore all religion is hypocritical and bad", I have to wonder if these people think anyone is allowed to have any beliefs that they cannot fully live up to.

The fact is that none of us is perfect, which means that there is not a soul on the planet (under this ban on "hypocrisy") who has the right to tell us what to do. Frankly, this just seems like a more sneaky way of saying that the general populace would like to be able to behave however they please, without religious or moral police interfering with their fun.

I am reminded of the whole William Bennett kerfuffle a few years ago. Bennett was a conservative, shall we say, "moralist" who is best known for his writings and commentary on virtuous living, including "The Book of Virtues: A Treasury of Great Moral Stories". But then it came to light that this proponent of morality was a high-stakes gambler. And not only that, he was a smoker! While he was drug czar of the United States, no less! (Apparently smoking is the only vice that still seems to land one in the sin category nowadays).

Suddenly the cry went out: "Hypocrite!" How could Bennett be offering guidance on how to live one's life if he was not squeaky clean himself? The gall! How could he fight a war on drugs and sit in his office smoking the day away?

Well, let's define hypocrite, for the sake of discussion. One Webster's Dictionary definition is: "A person who acts in contradiction to his or her stated beliefs", which I think is the definition most people go for when discussing the concept. But in my perusal of definitions on the web, there is much more to hypocrisy. According to my google search, a hypocrite can also be defined as: "A person who professes beliefs and opinions that he or she does not hold in order to conceal his or her real feelings or motives" or "The act of preaching a certain belief, religion, or way of life, but not, in fact holding these beliefs."

I prefer these definitions because they allow religious persons, who truly believe a certain way, to mess up (or in other words, be human) without being called a hypocrite. Who is to say that Mel Gibson does not believe that what he is doing is wrong? Or that William Bennett did not feel guilty as he bet his millions in the casino? Just because they were doing these things does not mean we get a free pass to ignore the good and correct things they said, simply because they are fallible human beings. That's where we run into trouble, when we group all morality into one perfect bundle and only allow the sinless to dispense of it. We can still learn lessons from others, even with, and in some cases because of, their shortcomings.

Now, I am not excusing any of Gibson's behavior (past or present), and I am not saying that Bennett probably shouldn't have been off gambling. But their personal behavior is not a black mark against religion or morality in general. We all make mistakes. Let's learn from theirs so we don't have to make the same mistakes on our own.

I'm Totally Related to Her!

Normally I get annoyed when people name-drop, and especially when people name-drop on my behalf ("This is my friend Bonnie - she's related to so-and-so"). But in this case I am going to totally start name-dropping:

My fabulously talented sister, Stephanie (not to be confused with my other fabulously talented sisters, Evil HR Lady and Mean Aunt) just won a Whitney Award for Best Mystery/Suspense novel for 2008! If you haven't read Fool Me Twice, what are you waiting for? Get going!


Congratulations, Stephanie! It was completely deserved! I can't wait to see what's next! (Oh wait, I have seen it, and it's GOOD!)

Taking Leave of our Senses

Believe it or not, the Supreme Court is set to hear a case being argued by the ACLU, and I actually agree with the civil liberties brigade! This is a rarity, considering most of the time I think the ACLU needs to get over themselves and stop destroying our freedom.

The case involves a girl named Savanna Redding, who, when she was thirteen, was strip-searched by Arizona school officials looking for contraband ibuprofen. Yes, you read that right. They were looking for an over-the-counter drug used to relieve headaches and menstrual cramps of all things.

The trouble started when another student was found with ibuprofen and blamed Savanna. When a search of Savanna's backpack didn't reveal any forbidden medications, the school nurse and a female secretary performed a strip search, even making her shake out her underwear and bra.

I'm sorry, but this is outrageous! Stripping a thirteen-year old girl down to nothing because of the accusation of another adolescent is horrifying, and that applies even if we are talking about heroin. But we aren't. We are talking about ibuprofen, for crying out loud!

Apparently there is some question of whether the ibuprofen they were searching for was "prescription strength" which in my opinion, is completely irrelevant. So we are talking about two Advil instead of one. Big whoop. The fact is that schools should not be performing strip searches on anyone, for any reason. If there is a legal or criminal issue at hand then law enforcement should be called in, and at the very least the parents should be notified.

I called my sister, who lives in Arizona, to ask about the drug policies of her children's schools. She told me that her kids aren't allowed to carry medications for any reason. That means if you would like your menstruating daughter to have access to Midol, you must sign a form and then take a bottle of the pain-reliever (in its original packaging) to the school nurse, who will dispense the medication to your child, should she come asking.

I don't know about you, but when I was thirteen I was still working out the embarrassments and hush-hush situations that arose from having my period. You would have had to kill me before I would have even considered going to ask the nurse for some Midol.

I understand that schools do not want drugs on their campuses. But let's use our heads, people. Tylenol and Advil are not the sort of drugs that kids are going to be snorting between classes. Heaven forbid we allow our teenagers to handle their own headache relief.

And another thing: I find it absolutely unfathomable that OTC pain relievers are forbidden, and yet many schools pass out condoms and birth control pills without parental consent. There is even legislation out there pushing for teens to be allowed to have abortions without having to let their parents know. But if they have a headache they can't be trusted to take care of it themselves?

This is so ludicrous I can't even stand to write about it any more. I have to go bang my head against a wall now.

Mysteries of Life

How is it that one little haircut can turn a toddler into such a big boy?

We Interrupt This Blog for a Commercial Message

After years of half-heartedly contemplating teeth whitening, my not-so-pearly whites had finally reached a state of such yellowness that I decided it was worth it to fork over the big bucks for Crest White Strips. I wasn't expecting them to work miracles, but I figured any improvement was better than nothing.

Well, they totally work! I have only been using them for three days and already the improvement has been so drastic that I can't seem to stop smiling at myself in the mirror. I still have seven days to go, but I am already 100% satisfied with the results.

So if you've ever contemplated buying them, run out and get some today.

Best $35 I ever spent!

Like Father, Like Son

Michael has something of an organizational streak. He loves to clean up (almost as much as he likes to dump out) and is very good at putting things in the proper places. He will stack by color, shape and size, and likes things to be lined up "just so". He loves to sort things and can divide laundry by lights, whites and darks without any prompting. And he always wants to be the one to put something away, whether it's our scriptures after our morning reading or a remote control he found on the floor.

I'm thinking all this organized behavior was inherited from his father, who proudly stands over him and says, "That's my boy!" any time Michael finds the proper spot for a toy.

This is my favorite evidence of the way Michael likes to arrange things. Usually after a bath he will stack his cups in one corner and his fish neatly in the other (the cups by size and the fish on top of each other, all facing the same way), but every once in awhile this is what I find instead:


Hmmm, detail-oriented at two. A future accountant, perhaps?